I
was sitting on the porch one cool morning, drinking coffee and reading
my Bible, when my wife came to the door holding Lydia. Lydia saw me and
smiled. When I went over to grab her and get a hug, I realized she
wanted to go for a ride in her car. After mom put on some warm clothes,
she and i set out. She loves her little car. It is a Step 2 car with a
long handle that I push. This particular car once belonged to Colby. As I
pushed her around I reminisced of times pushing Colby around. We use to
bring that same car to church and push him around in the hallways, as
he liked it better than a stroller.
As
I took Lydia on her stroll this morning, I looked down at her. It was
pretty funny. She thinks she is in total control. To her, she is making
the car move along. She has no idea that at that moment, her daddy is in
complete control. Her hands are on a small steering wheel, but her
daddy is directing every move of the car. She is also oblivious to
potential dangers that are all around, but her daddy is watching over
her and protecting her.
At
that moment, I thought about how I want what is good for her. I want her
to love the Lord with all her heart. I want her to learn the lessons
she needs to learn for her good, even though some of those lessons are
going to be painful. I want her to know that I will always be there when
she stumbles and falls. I want her to be assured of my love for her,
though I know at times of discipline she will question that love. I want her to know that my love for her will be expressed in thousands and thousands of yeses. It will also be expressed in a whole bunch of noes. In fact, there will be many times when the decisions I make, for her good, will make absolutely no sense to her. But reality is, my love for her will not be in question.
I
want her to love me. But, I want her to love me as her daddy, not as the
giver of stuff. When I come home from trips, I want her to care more about me than what I may potentially bring to her as an expression of my love. I want her to love me because, well, I first loved
her...and I love her with all that is within me.
As
I turned the car around to head back to our house, she looked up at me
and smiled. I said, "Let's go home baby girl!" And as I escorted her
home, my hand guiding her path, I saw that our Father had just given me a
glimpse of His love for us. It seems that I too am in my own little car or sorts,
and He is guiding my path, all the way home.
