Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Because He First Loved Me

I was sitting on the porch one cool morning, drinking coffee and reading my Bible, when my wife came to the door holding Lydia. Lydia saw me and smiled. When I went over to grab her and get a hug, I realized she wanted to go for a ride in her car. After mom put on some warm clothes, she and i set out. She loves her little car. It is a Step 2 car with a long handle that I push. This particular car once belonged to Colby. As I pushed her around I reminisced of times pushing Colby around. We use to bring that same car to church and push him around in the hallways, as he liked it better than a stroller.
As I took Lydia on her stroll this morning, I looked down at her. It was pretty funny. She thinks she is in total control. To her, she is making the car move along. She has no idea that at that moment, her daddy is in complete control. Her hands are on a small steering wheel, but her daddy is directing every move of the car. She is also oblivious to potential dangers that are all around, but her daddy is watching over her and protecting her.
At that moment, I thought about how I want what is good for her. I want her to love the Lord with all her heart. I want her to learn the lessons she needs to learn for her good, even though some of those lessons are going to be painful. I want her to know that I will always be there when she stumbles and falls. I want her to be assured of my love for her, though I know at times of discipline she will question that love. I want her to know that my love for her will be expressed in thousands and thousands of yeses. It will also be expressed in a whole bunch of noes. In fact, there will be many times when the decisions I make, for her good, will make absolutely no sense to her. But reality is, my love for her will not be in question.
I want her to love me. But, I want her to love me as her daddy, not as the giver of stuff. When I come home from trips, I want her to care more about me than what I may potentially bring to her as an expression of my love. I want her to love me because, well, I first loved her...and I love her with all that is within me.
As I turned the car around to head back to our house, she looked up at me and smiled. I said, "Let's go home baby girl!" And as I escorted her home, my hand guiding her path, I saw that our Father had just given me a glimpse of His love for us. It seems that I too am in my own little car or sorts, and He is guiding my path, all the way home.


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